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As a birthmother I can say I have lived my whole life wondering about my daughter,
where she was placed, did she go to a loving home ,was she well taken care of
and was she ever told by her adoptive parents that she was adopted.
In my case when my parents found out that I was pregnant they made the decision
to place my child up for adoption.
This was a very hard time in my life I remember it as if it were yesterday.
I knew that I was never going to see my child , I was never going to get to
hold her, was never going to raise her. This has left me with a very big void
in my life. I have lived my life wondering what it would have been like to have
gotten the chance to raise my child.
I can say this much I feel as a birthmother that many of us were robbed of
the right to keep our children. Many of us will never get the chance to meet
our children who were taken away from us,our birthchildren will never get the
chance to really know who they are, where they came from and know their true
identity.
I know many people who frown upon birthparents who are trying to search for
their children, but let me say this much they do not know all the circumstances
behind an adoption. These people do not know what we birthparents have had to
go through in our life time , feelings of guilt for what ever reason ,feelings
of emptiness, and many years of heartache!
I can say what ever it will take to find my birthdaughter I will do! She deserves
to know who she really is and most of all she deserve to know the truth of why
she was adoptee out, many adoptees live a life of thinking that their birthparents
did not want them, this is not true in many cases! Why let an adoptee live a
lie? Some of us birthparents have had to live a lie our whole life, we were
ashamed of by our own family members, especially if you were a birthmother in
the 60's as I was. That era was really a rough time to be a birthmother, I know
I lived it.
I can only hope that one day we will be able to see open records all over
the nation, let the birthparents & adoptees make the choice of weather or
not they want to find their children or birthparents.
Being a birthmother I will say we never forget about our birthchildren. We can
only hope that one day we will make contact with our children and then pick
up the pieces and try to start a life with them, God willing .
I have 30 some years of love in my heart for my daughter if she is willing to
accept me . If she is not willing to accept me then this is something I will
have to deal with if the time ever comes that I find her, I can only pray we
will find each other and accept each other for who we really are.
Caroline Ruffo
A birth mother in search of my daughter( Maria Evon Ruffo) her name given at
birth.
My adoption site on the web
A birth mothers story
http://www.dp.net/~ruffo
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